Description: This blog explores the concept of ‘unlikely mentors’ from Chris Roberts’ TEDx talk. We discuss a three-step process: Identify, Adopt, Engage, illustrating how to find and learn from mentors outside traditional networks, based on real-life experiences and professional development insights.

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It’s 10:00 PM on a Tuesday night and Applebees is empty. I just sat down with 3 of my best friends to order half-priced appetizers and celebrate graduating high school.

In just 3 months I’m heading off to college and, exciting though it is, I’m conflicted. I’ll be working as a professional magician this summer, for the second summer in a row, and I’ve floated the idea to my father that I should put off going to school to pursue my magic career.

That idea was not well-received.

So, I’ve got just a few months to work as many gigs as I can. It’s not the money I’m after, but the experience.

I desperately want to be a better magician and suspect that will be hard to do while also engaged in a dual major.

I’m daydreaming now, staring off into the distance as my friends excitedly chat about summer plans and college freedom.

A mysterious man appears

That’s when I notice him. He’s just walked in the front door and is waiting for the hostess to return to her stand.

I squint. That can’t really be him.

“Brian? Brian??”

It’s my friend Mike, sitting across from me.

“You okay man?” he asks. Then he turns around to see what I’m looking at. “Who is that?”

“You wouldn’t know him,” I said. “I think that’s Garrett Thomas.”

My friends look at each other blankly.

So I explain, “He’s a really famous magician, to magicians. He’s one of my heroes. I have all of his instructional videos. But, that can’t be him.”

The hostess takes the man to his seat, which is somewhere behind me in the restaurant.

The conversation that changed my life

My friends return to chit-chat and a few minutes go by, when suddenly a hand appears on the table in front of me.

I look down and realize I’m staring at a business card.

Garrett Thomas: Master Magician.

I look up right as he slides into view with a sly grin across his face. I’m in shock.

“How did you know I’m a magician?”

He pauses dramatically, and then responds, “Because you recognized me.”

Garrett stuck around for a few minutes, showed us a handful of tricks – properly blowing ours minds – and then threw this out right before he left:

“Hey, I shoot pool at a billiards hall downtown every Wednesday night from midnight until around 4am. Come by anytime.”

And then he disappeared.

How Garrett showed me a new kind of relationship

The next night I drove into downtown Buffalo at midnight and was genuinely surprised to find Garrett Thomas there, shooting pool, just like he said.

He remembered me, said hello, and was friendly in a socially acceptable way. That night we shot pool for hours, and in between shots and between rounds, spoke about magic.

Garrett didn’t seem interested in speaking about tricks or techniques. Instead he spoke in monologues, mini-lectures about magic theory and what it means to be a magician, rather than simply doing magic tricks.

For the rest of that summer the billiards hall became my dirty, Buffalo wings flavored agora, and Garrett became my Socrates.

He challenged me and asked questions that drove me crazy.

But the way he performed, and the effect his magic had on his audiences – I desperately wanted to be that kind of magician.

So I kept an open mind and soaked it all up. Eventually he trusted me enough to teach me a handful of his most closely guarded secrets.

The more I learned the more I developed my own thoughts, opinions, and style – and not all of it gelled with his philosophy on magic. Over the course of two years I came around less and less, until eventually we stopped communicating.

Garrett was my first ‘unlikely mentor’

I remember calling Garrett my mentor, but I also distinctly remember thinking, “But I don’t think he considers me a student.”

What kind of relationship is that?

I had no idea how to categorize it, until now. Last week a new TEDx talk hit YouTube: “The secret to becoming yourself? Look for unlikely mentors.”

The speaker, Chris Roberts, describes a different kind of mentorship relationship. According to Chris, “Unlikely mentors are the people most likely to change your life, and least likely to call themselves your mentor.”

Sound like anyone I know?

Yep, and the very first time Chris explained this concept to me, Garrett is the first person I thought of.

How I learned about Chris

See, Chris is my client.

He enrolled in my Conquer the Red Dot® program in 2022 and we went on an epic 18-month journey to turn his life stories into a Big Idea, refine it, pitch it to conference organizers, and eventually get him booked to speak at TEDxSpokane in October 2023.

We helped him write, rehearsed, and deliver the talk, which is now out.

I am always transformed by my own clients’ big ideas, but this one particularly struck me. ‘Unlikely mentors’ is such a perfect way to describe the people who help us become who we’re meant to be.

So many of us feel incomplete, unworthy, or unsure of where life will take us, or what path is right for us.

Why traditional mentorship doesn’t work

As Chris notes in his talk, traditional mentorship often doesn’t work because it’s either unaffordable for the kind of people who most need it, or the formal structure skips the relationship-building part, which is the most crucial aspect of mentorship.

That’s where unlikely mentors come in.

In his talk, Chris outlines a 3-step process to actually find and attract these kind of people into your life:

1. Identify: “Find someone who inspires you, outside your immediate circle. For me, it was Garrett Thomas, a magician I admired from afar. Look for your ‘Garrett’ in webinars, professional groups, or even in a book.”
2. Adopt: “Adopt their habits and attitudes. This doesn’t mean losing your uniqueness; it’s about learning from their approach. I observed how Garrett engaged his audience and integrated some of his techniques into my own style.”
3. Engage: “Reach out respectfully. Ask questions, offer help, or seek advice. When I met Garrett, I started with simple conversations about magic, which evolved into deeper discussions.”

Chris’ TEDx talk is wildly funny, moving, and action-oriented. He even got two applause-breaks, which I’ve never seen before.

Learn more about the three steps by watching his talk here:

The Secret to Becoming Yourself? Look For Unlikely Mentors | Chris Roberts | TEDxSpokane

If you love it, consider sharing the talk on your socials and newsfeeds, and tag at least one unlikely mentor in your life. Thank them for the contribution they made, because they might not even realize how impactful they’ve been.

Garrett, thank you. You changed my life by giving me the confidence to become the magician I was meant to be, which led to everything else good in my life.