Description: Explore the vital role of context in understanding colleagues and improving communication. Drawing parallels from The Who’s drummer Keith Moon, this blog emphasizes the significance of perception and the nuances that influence our judgments. Delve into actionable steps and questions to foster genuine connections and navigate diverse perspectives in the workplace.
Have you ever found it hard to understand a colleague’s approach at work, even if everyone else seemed to appreciate it? Or a friend’s response to your gesture?
Keith Moon was the drummer for legendary British rock band The Who from 1964 to 1978 before his untimely death.
Today he is revered as one of the greatest rock drummers of all time.
But his bandmate, lead guitarist and primary songwriter Pete Townshend, never saw it that way. Moon approached the drums differently, treating them like the lead instrument, filling every second with crashes, bangs, and booms.
Where typical drummers hold a steady beat 90% of the time and occasionally add a “fill” or flourish, Moon played fills 90% of the time and occasionally held a steady beat.
Two Wildly Different Perspectives
In one interview, Townshend said, “It’s sacrilege to say now, but I didn’t think [Moon] was a very good drummer.”
More recently Pete said, “With Keith, my job was keeping time, because he didn’t do that. So when he passed away, it was like, ‘Oh, I don’t have to keep time anymore.’”
Meanwhile, The Who’s singer Roger Daltrey, said in his own interview: “[Keith] was the best rock n roll drummer there’s ever been. … Sure, he was crazy. He was everything everybody said about him. But he was also an incredible drummer.”
So, who’s right?
Well, that’s the thing – they both are.
Because what Daltrey wanted and needed out of a drummer and what Townshend wanted and needed out of a drummer were different.
The Power and Myth of Perception
We’ve often heard “perception is reality,” but I don’t think that’s quite right. Usually it’s a meme that looks something like this:
But, clearly that’s not right. The first time I saw this meme in 2018 or 2019 I wrote a short blog about it (I’m still searching for the original link).
My original critique was simple: The person who drew the number forgot to put a line underneath one of the sides. A line would indicate definitively whether it’s a 6 or a 9.
So either the original communicator was intentionally confusing, or accidentally unclear. Either way, this is a communication error, not a problem of “perception is reality.”
No, what’s more accurate is: Context is reality.
Context is Critical
Our actions, opinions, and judgements don’t exist in a bubble. They always exist inside of a context that makes them understandable. The trouble is that my context differs from yours.
Roger Daltrey was an explosive lead singer, whose job it was to interpret Pete Townshend’s lyrics and engage the audience. Moon’s drumming gave Daltrey a dynamic, powerful presence to play off.
Townshend, meanwhile, was the songwriter, who wanted his creations performed as he intended. Moon’s wild tendencies and lackluster approach to keeping time made it difficult for Townshend to focus on the song and instead focus on keeping time for the band.
Keith Moon was the best rock n roll drummer, AND a terrible drummer. It just depends on the context.
What does that mean for our relationships? For our ability to connect with others?
Seek First to Understand
The first step to creating environments where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued is recognizing the context from which each person individually acts.
To paraphrase marketing legend Seth Godin, author of bestselling books like Linchpin, The Practice, and The Song of Significance:
“If you knew what they knew, wanted what they wanted, and believed what they believed, you’d have done the same thing.”
It doesn’t mean you’ll always agree, and it certainly doesn’t make everyone right.
But if we’re not clear and explicit about the context in which we act or pass judgements, it becomes very difficult to share a meaningful connection.
Questions to Ask
If you’re struggling to understand a friend, family member, colleague, or client’s actions, start by asking yourself these questions:
- How am I feeling about this?
- What’s going on in my life/day that might be contributing to those feelings?
Then, use these kinds of questions to ask them:
- I’m feeling lost, can you help me understand your decision to do it that way?
- Can you talk me through your thought-process?
- Did something change that I should be aware of?
Remember, context goes both ways. There’s a context that led to their action, and a context that led to your reaction.
What context might you be missing in your conversations today?
Creating Connected Cultures
Is your organization struggling to keep your people connected in a meaningful way? A recent Grammarly report revealed that miscommunication is costing American companies $12,500 per employee, per year.
That means a team of 100 is wasting $1,250,000 simply due to misunderstandings.
That’s why I’ve developed keynotes and workshops on human connection. Since 2015 I’ve been helping organizations build connected cultures where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.
That way you can attract and retain top talent, significantly reduce costly miscommunications, and generate sustainable, repeat business.
My 2023 calendar is completely full, but I’m now accepting inquiries to speak at your organization or event in Q1 and Q2 of 2024.
Reach out today to schedule an event consultation.
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