Ideas don’t change the world. Clear and understandable ideas change the world.
Communication skills are no longer just for public speakers. No matter what you do for a living, in 2021 you’re in communication.
It’s how you get a job, negotiate for a raise, sell to clients or prospects, teach your kids, deepen your relationship with your significant other, create community, build trust…
But in the words of Jim Carrey’s character Joel from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, “Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.”
In this article I’m going to introduce you to 3 new books that, as a professional speaker, speaking coach, and human connection specialist, I consider essential reading. And by ‘new’, I mean within the last few years.
Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss
From the inside cover:
“Life is a series of negotiations: whether buying a car, getting a better praise, buying a home, negotiating rent, or deliberating with your partner, Never split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.”
When negotiating you should find something in the middle so that everybody wins, right?
According to Chris Voss, the former lead hostage negotiator for the FBI, that’s wrong. And the reason is super obvious when it’s spelled out:
If I give a little and you give a little, neither of us gets what we want. It’s not the win-win you think it is. Instead of both of us being happy, or even one of us being happy, neither is.
What kind of negotiation is that?
In Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It, Chris takes you into the insane world of negotiating with terrorists to completely revolutionize the communication science of negotiating we’ve all come to know as “getting to yes.” Voss says no. I mean, literally – he says you should try to get them to say ‘no.’
Blowing your mind? Just wait until you read it.
The book is action-packed with stories that will have you gripping your chair, and actionable communication advice you’ll put into practice before you’ve even finished reading.
His technique for getting unresponsive prospects or clients to instantly respond, while building rapport, is worth the price of the book.
Favorite quote:
“In this world, you get what you ask for; you just have to ask correctly.”
Never Split the Difference is a Wall Street Journal Bestseller that’s been at or near the top of Amazon’s Communication Skills list for literal years, with nearly 20,000 reviews.
Find Your Red Thread by Tamsen Webster
From the back cover:
“You have a terrific idea. It’s so powerful that it could change a life, a market, or even the world. There’s just one problem: others don’t see its power – yet.”
I coach TEDx speakers. And if I ever decide to try another TEDx talk…
I’d hire Tamsen.
In Find Your Red Thread: Make Your Big Ideas Irresistible, Tamsen has done the impossible: Laid out a by-the-numbers system for developing what TED calls an “idea worth spreading.” That is, an idea so clear, understandable, and compelling that it moves people to action.
Whether you’re a CEO speaking to shareholders, a manager speaking to your team, or a nonprofit speaking to potential donors, you need the framework in this book.
And it all starts with the question, what even is an idea?
According to Tamsen, an idea is an answer to a question that doesn’t already have one, or needs a better one.
That sounds simple, but if you’ve ever tried to convince someone of anything, you know that’s not true. Most people have issues or topics, not ideas.
As Leonard DiCaprio’s character Dom says in Inception, “What is the most resilient parasite? An idea.”
Tamsen says the process of explaining your idea to others is like navigating a maze, except you can’t navigate it for them. They have to make their way through the maze themselves. How do they do that? With a map. And what is the map?
A story.
Favorite quote:
“Your message is a map from where your audience is now to your idea.”
Find Your Red Thread is brand new in 2021. I tore through it on a flight and started implementing her methods with my own clients that same day.
While I’ve developed my own proprietary method for coaching TEDx speakers, Tamsen’s methodology provided a fresh new perspective and a ton of nuggets.
The Compelling Communicator by Tim Pollard
From the back cover:
“You attend numerous presentations and meetings a year – filled with the typical dense and disorganized PowerPoint decks – and leave most of the thinking, “Well, that’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back.” But out of this sea of mediocrity, a rare few rise up, captivating you and driving you to action. What makes these few so special?”
A few years ago I delivered my keynote “How to Magically Connect with Anyone” at an annual conference for an international tech company. A few months later they flew me back to deliver the follow-up full-day communication workshop,”Conversations that Matter.”
Afterwards I proposed a long-term consulting agreement to continue working with their sales team on implementing what we learned.
“We already have a consulting firm for that kind of work. They’re fantastic. The firm is Oratium and their CEO is Tim Pollard.”
I had his book in my hands the very next day. Thanks Amazon and your impossible 1-day shipping.
The Compelling Communicator: Mastering the Art and Science of Exceptional Presentation Design is a full-on textbook. If you need to build and deliver professional presentations, this is your new bible.
It’s not as much fun as Chris Voss’s hostage negotiation stories, or as simple as Tamsen Webster’s message methodology, but it’s comprehensive and incredibly well sourced. This is not a book of mere opinions based on experience. Pollard’s work is grounded in science.
Favorite quote:
“The customer has absolutely no interest in how something works until they’ve first understood why they might want to look at it.”
The Compelling Communicator is not a book you’ll read in one sitting and implement that day. It’s a resource you’ll return to over and over again as different communication challenges present.
Your Turn
What are your favorite communication books?
Comment below, ‘reply’ to the email you received this blog in, or DM me on LinkedIn. I’d love to find out what you’re reading and what works for you.
Here are some honorable mentions:
The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs by Carmine Gallo
Quiet by Susan Cain
Magic Words by Tim David
How to Deliver a TED Talk by Jeremey Donovan
This article contains affiliate links. If you purchase anything through the links in this article, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you for your support.
0 Comments