I watched with rage and disbelief as a middle-aged woman in workout clothes pushed past four of us to get to the front of the deli line. A collective outcry was just bubbling to the surface when she surprised us:
“Terrance!”
A tall, broad-shouldered, black gentleman with disproportionately small glasses behind the counter looked up and smiled,
“Yes?”
“That grinder you made for me the other day was wonderful,” she said. “I just wanted to thank you again.”
“You are quite welcome,” said Terrance.
And then she left.
An Inspiring Sandwich
When was the last time you went out of your way to thank a deli worker for the great sandwich they made? Can you even remember a sandwich so exceptional that would inspire such gratitude?
Sandwiches are sandwiches, right? Some better than others, but ultimately, the same.
In the following two years I witnessed a similar scenario play out over and over again. I even found myself in that lady’s shoes, bringing coffee to Terrance on a day when I had no reason to be at the deli, just to say thank you.
Yet in all that time, I never saw anyone do that with the other two deli workers. Not that they weren’t pleasant or helpful, just that Terrance made the best grinders, and that’s that. Folks would wait for him to finish with someone else’s order, even if a different worker was already available.
Why were Terrance’s grinders so much better than everyone else’s?
They weren’t.
The Connection Placebo
A well-known phenomenon in psychology and medicine, the placebo effect is when a patient’s condition improves in response to treatment they believe they are receiving, even when they aren’t. Think taking an Advil to get rid of your headache, and finding out later it wasn’t really Advil, but just a pill full of sugar.
We observe a similar effect in great connectors.
People are more likely to do business with someone they know, like, and trust. We are loyal to those who make us feel heard, understood, and valued, even if a different organization has an objectively better product or service, or charges less for the same.
Terrance had a way of connecting with customers. More than simply friendly, he engaged in genuine and meaningful conversations, taking his time with each person instead of rushing to get through the line.
The subs he made had the same ingredients applied in the same order as his colleagues. But eating a grinder from Terrance was more than a quick lunch; it was a psychological reminder of how positive you felt around him.
And it makes the food taste better.
Humanity is Your Edge
Leave an hour open for that 20-minute call so that you don’t have to rush them off the phone if the opportunity presents to go deeper.
Work hard on remembering people’s names and their stories.
Regularly show up for people with kindness, empathy, and generosity and you will find opportunities open in abundance.
Your business will benefit, but your soul will flourish.
Soft skills are hard. We make it easy.
Learn 7 foolproof ways to start a conversation in any situation - without looking like an idiot! No. 7 will blow your mind.
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