The ONE Task Your Virtual Assistant Should Never Do

Brian Miller HUman Connection Magician

Written by Brian Miller

Brian Miller is a former magician turned author, speaker, and consultant on human connection. He works with organizations to create connected cultures where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

October 10, 2023

Description: Explore the balance between technology and genuine human connection in business. Dive into the pitfalls of automated outreach, the value of authentic engagement, and practical tips for maintaining personal touch in a digital age. A must-read for professionals navigating modern communication challenges.


 

I stared at my screen in disbelief.

It was the CEO of a major company sending me a DM on LinkedIn.

Ordinarily I’d be thrilled – this is usually the start of a conversation about a speaking event or consulting agreement. And in this case, we already knew each other. He’d hired me previously and we collaborated for nearly 4 years.

But this message was odd. He was pitching me on a new collaboration… as if we’d never met before.

I re-read the message a few times and confirmed my confusion. It was a cold pitch, the kind you blast to hundreds or thousands of people at a time, playing a numbers game hoping for your 1-2% response rate.

Immediately I knew what was going on – he had hired a VA to conduct this outreach strategy, and the VA was sending messages under his profile. So to the receiver, it looked as if the message was coming directly from the CEO.

But it couldn’t be, because he never would have sent me that message. And his VA would have no way of knowing we had a pre-existing relationship, because the CEO and I had never contacted each other on LinkedIn before.

After the initial confusion and disappointment, I took a step back.

There was a time I too had considered such mass outreach methods, lured by the promise of efficiency and reach.

But this incident was a glaring reminder of why I had chosen a different path – one of genuine connections. It made me reaffirm my belief in the power of authentic human interactions in the age of impersonal technology.

In an instant, the spell of our magical connection and long-standing relationship was broken.

The Double-Edged Sword of Modern Connectivity

In our hyper-connected world, there’s an unspoken expectation to always be “on,” always be reaching out, always be growing. More, more, more!

To paraphrase Seth Godin, every manager in every meeting only wants one thing: “Up and to the right!”

Hustle culture dictates that leveraging technology, especially with automation tools and virtual assistants, is the way forward. It promises efficiency and wide reach.

But as the lines between technology and human connection blur, critical nuances are often lost.

It’s as if we’re so focused on broadcasting our message to as many as possible, we forget the essence of communication: to be heard, understood, and valued.

The Challenge of Scaling and Authenticity

Many might argue, “As businesses grow, the demand for communication increases exponentially. How can one maintain that personal touch with thousands, if not millions, of connections? Isn’t it only logical to employ automation and assistance tools to manage this vast network?”

Yes, scaling brings challenges.

The sheer volume of interactions can be daunting. And technology, in all its glory, offers a way to manage this growth efficiently.

However, as leaders and professionals, we must ask ourselves: at what cost?

Does the promise of scalability justify losing the essence of genuine human connection?

While I understand and empathize with the need for businesses to scale efficiently, it’s paramount to remember that every message, every outreach, impacts a real person on the other side.

A balance must be struck between efficient scalability and authentic engagement. And that balance can be the difference between a transactional relationship and a loyal, long-lasting connection.

And remember, as more and more people fall victim to the feeling of being treated like a number or metric instead of a person, the professionals and organizations who do the opposite and double-down on human connection will stand out.

Pretty soon, your humanity may be your only differentiator in an automated world.

The Value of Genuine Interaction in the Age of Automation

Unfortunately, this is becoming more common. That was the 3rd time in 10 days someone I had a pre-existing relationship with reached out to me as if we didn’t know each other.

And honestly, it’s unacceptable.

Listen, this is not a knock on VAs. I have a team of three rock star VAs without whom my business would fall apart. But there’s one thing they absolutely, unequivocally, never do.

They never, ever, under any circumstances, send a message on my behalf and sign it with my name.

My assistant always signs emails and messages with her name, and the title “Personal Assistant to Brian Miller.”

When she schedules our weekly newsletter (likely how you found this blog post), I write the email and the blog in its entirety. She simply handles the formatting and scheduling.

Best Practices for Authentic Outreach

Here is my recommendation to all professionals using VAs:

  • If a VA uses your profile for outreach or networking, simply have them sign their name with their title & relationship to you
  • Better yet, give them their own profile that clearly indicates their role in your organization or relationship to you and encourage them to build their own trust and authority with your ideal clients, customers, or audience
  • If it has your name on it, the core message and flow of ideas should come directly from you (yes, you can dictate to an assistant and have them clean it up – but you should still sign off before it goes out)

The Unintended Consequences of Delegated Outreach

I responded to that CEO:

“Hi [name redacted], this message is so disappointing. We worked together for years and collaborated many times. I can only assume this is a VA sending messages on your behalf.

Best, Brian”

He wrote back the same day:

“Hi Brian, I hope you and your family are doing well. Your assumption is correct, and I apologize for that. -[name redacted]”

Obviously, I get it.

I run a business and mistakes get made. I’m not holier-than-thou or better than anyone.

A few years ago I was moving too quickly responding to emails and reached out to a lead who I’d already met on a discovery call but accidentally called her the completely wrong name.

She wrote back with a kind but suitably snarky comment about my title “human connection specialist” and the irony of having gotten her name wrong.

It destroyed me, and I vowed never to let that happen again.

The Human Touch in a Digital Age

Tech is making our lives as business owners and professionals easier by the day. But with that expediency and ease-of-use comes a huge drawback: lack of human connection.

It’s simply not possible to make a meaningful connection with someone under a false pretense. And tech makes it too easy to make critical mistakes.

Even when someone rationally understands, the emotional deflation lingers.

Moving forward let’s aspire not just to being personal brands, but being people.

Soft skills are hard. We make it easy.

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