The worst advice ever given and how to handle it

Brian Miller HUman Connection Magician

Written by Brian Miller

Brian Miller is a former magician turned author, speaker, and consultant on human connection. He works with organizations to create connected cultures where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

June 7, 2022

In 1989 a young comic actor began appearing on Saturday Night Live, quickly establishing a reputation for quirky and off-the-wall characters.

One day he sought the advice of another fresh talent, Conan O’Brien, who the year before had started writing for SNL. Conan recalled the conversation on his podcast:

“He was brand new, and he said, “You know, I’ve got this thing, and it’s guys doing cable access in the basement.”

 

And I said, “You know, cable access, low rent version of a TV parody, that’s kinda been done.

 

I thought I talked him out of it, but then he went and submitted it to read-through anyway. And I was like, well, this kid’s about to get his comeuppance.”

He was, of course, talking about Mike Myers.

Wayne’s World became a recurring sketch and, in 1992, a feature-length film produced by Paramount Pictures that was a massive critical and commercial success, and impacted pop culture for decades with catchphrases like “Schyea,” “That’s what she said,” and “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!”

Conan reflected on his now-obviously terrible advice: “I am not kidding, someone could fill a book with, ‘Thank God you didn’t listen to Conan.”

There are two ways to read this, and we should consider both.

Luck and Advice

First, the critical role of luck in success. The smartest, most talented directors, producers, and writers in the world have no idea what is going to become a hit. If anyone could predict with certainty what is going to succeed, it wouldn’t be art.

And it probably wouldn’t be worth paying attention to.

(I’ve written at length about luck, chance, and circumstance. Here’s a playlist of blogs if you want to explore some fascinating stories.)

Second, the value of advice. Advice is a gift, and it’s usually given by someone who cares about you, wants you to succeed, and has your best interests at heart.

But once you receive the gift, it’s up to you what to do with it. Accept advice with grace, but treat it with skepticism. Is this gift something you want, or need?

We’ve all received gifts that, while thoughtful and in some cases quite generous, are not a good fit for our lives. Paintings that we don’t like, weird chotchkies that take up space, tech gizmo’s that are more clever than useful, funny t-shirts we wouldn’t even wear to bed – much advice is like this.

Use it if it’s useful. Chuck it if it’s superfluous.

(I’ve also written about the difference between feedback and advice.)

Next Up

This is the first in a 3 part mini blog series about insights from a single episode of Conan’s podcast Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend with guest Stephen Merchant, co-creator and writer of The Office and stand-up comic. Listen to that episode here. It’s laugh-out-loud funny.

Then watch out for next week’s blog entry about the time Stephen was on a train and overhead 2 women debating whether The Office was funny or not.

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