What are your interpersonal goals?

Brian Miller HUman Connection Magician

Written by Brian Miller

Brian Miller is a former magician turned author, speaker, and consultant on human connection. He works with organizations to create connected cultures where everyone feels heard, understood, and valued.

January 4, 2022

So this is the new year.

Did you make your resolutions yet? Write them down!

Lose weight.

Get a raise.

Spend less time doom scrolling.

We all know resolutions don’t work. It’s well documented that most people give up by mid February.

And sure, maybe it’s because resolutions tend to be lofty, generic wishes instead of SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound).

But even more so, I think it’s because resolutions tend to be all about us. And no one is better at disappointing you than you.

We let ourselves off the hook too easily. It’s why accountability partners and gym-buddies work – it’s so much harder to disappoint someone else than ourselves.

In my blog post “Get out of my gym already” from January 2020 I talked a lot about the power of accountability.

This year, I’d like to shift this focus. Instead of making personal goals, let’s make interpersonal goals.

Rather than focusing on how you’re going to be better this year, focus on how you’re getting to help others be better this year.

Who can you give the gift of human connection to – a bored receptionist, an old friend, a distant relative?

Who can you facilitate a new connection between – two people in your life who’ve never met each other, and could create magic together?

Sometimes personal transformation works from the outside in. Step one: Connect. There is no step two.

Soft skills are hard. We make it easy.

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