5 Business Lessons I Learned From My Self Love Experience
If you’re in business today, you need great photos. This goes doubly for solopreneurs and thought leaders.
Great photos connect audiences with people and personal brands.
But what is a great photo?
I’ve had plenty of headshots and photoshoots over 16 years in business. Some of them I really liked, and used for a long time.
And yet, there was always something missing:
Me.
I know it sounds weird, but it’s so easy to produce a beautiful looking photo that doesn’t actually represent the person or personal brand at all.
That’s why this time I went to Lindsay Rae, an internationally award-winning photographer and owner of Self Love Experience.
What’s in a photo?
Lindsay started out as my client, when she hired me as her TEDx coach. She conquered the red dot and continued to work with me to build her own personal brand and career as a thought leader.
Through our work she realized she wanted to shift from luxury boudoir photography, her specialty, into personal branding photography.
Today Lindsay helps thought-leaders, artists, executives and entrepreneurs to stand out in an age of conformity.
She does that by reconstructing their view of beauty, creating unique photographic content for their personal brand, and inspiring them to confidently show up for opportunities.
And… she does it masterfully.
How do I know? Because I did a photoshoot with her. In fact, every photo you see in this blog post came from that same 1-hour shoot.
It was an extraordinary experience that produced way more than just a new set of brand photos. And in this article I’m going to identify 5 lessons I learned from working with Lindsay to define my brand through photography.
5 business lessons I learned from my Self Love Experience
1. Hire Experts and Get Out of Their Way
In all previous photoshoots I spent more time telling the photographer what I wanted than actually taking photos. And so I got the same ordinary headshots every time, no matter who was behind the camera.
Steve Jobs famously said,
“It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”
This lesson has been critical to my success in business. And finally I applied it to a photoshoot.
Lindsay Rae is an expert, a renowned and award-winning photographer. When you hire someone like that, just say ‘yes’ to whatever they want to do, even if it pushes you outside of your comfort zone.
Especially then.
She wanted to give me a completely new hair style, chopping off my long hair that had been a staple for my entire career, and most of my life.
Was I nervous? Of course. But she’s the expert in style, not me. I said, “I trust you. Do whatever you think is right.”
She was right.
2. Trust Your Instincts When to Push Back
This lesson seems to contradict the first, but hear me out. As much as someone else is an expert in their art, you’re still the expert in you.
If something really feels wrong in your gut – not nervous butterflies, but really wrong – say something.
Early in the shoot there I noticed a golden monkey holding an edison bulb right behind me in the set. I asked Lindsay about it, and she was super excited. She’d found it recently and bought it just for my shoot.
“You don’t like it?” she asked.
“Eh… I really don’t. I don’t think I want that right behind me in every photo. Maybe off to the side?”
“Done!”
She moved it and we never talked about it again. When you trust an expert, that trust should extend to pushing back on their ideas when they don’t feel right to you.
No matter who you’ve hired, how much experience they have, or how famous they are, it’s still a relationship. And all relationships are built on open communication and trust.
3. Your perspective is Only One of Many
In my own career as a speaker and writer on human connection, I teach ‘perspective-taking’, which is the ability to see the world from the point-of-view of another person.
It’s simple, but it’s not easy.
The hardest thing about taking on someone else’s perspective is that we never really know what it’s like to have that person’s lived experience. In the end, we really have to take their word for it.
That’s why I say the goal of connection is not agreement, but understanding.
But going through the Self Love Experience with Lindsay Rae was the closest I’ve ever been to truly understanding someone else’s perspective.
Before the shoot she said to me, “I want you to see yourself the way I see you. The way your clients see you.”
I honestly thought it was just some motivational mumbo-jumbo to get me excited for the shoot. Turns out, it was the whole point.
After the first 5 minutes of test photos she showed me a few on the back of her camera. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was clearly me, but a version of myself I’d never seen before.
I was silent, staring at the image.
“This is how we see you,” Lindsay said.
The guy in the photo looked smart, sophisticated, put-together. Of course, that’s not how I feel on a daily basis. I feel like a normal dad in his mid-30s, making things up day-to-day and doing his best to just keep his family and his business moving forward.
But that’s just one perspective. Lindsay’s perspective is just as valid as mine. And through the camera she was able to show it to me in a way I could viscerally understand. It was an incredible gift.
4. Your Way is Not the Right Way
A corollary to the previous lesson on perspectives: The way you do things is not the right way to do things, even if it works.
All my previous photoshoots worked. They were great looking headshots that we used on hundreds if not thousands of pieces of content. My business was successful with those photos.
Just because something works doesn’t mean it’s right, and it definitely doesn’t mean it’s the best.
I forget who said it, but “1st ideas are for lazy people.”
When I’m working with someone on a TEDx talk, we almost never choose the 1st expression of their Big Idea, no matter how good it sounds at the time.
The way you do things might be the best way, but assume it isn’t until proven otherwise.
5. Confidence Can Come from the Outside
We hear all about transforming our internal narrative in order to become more confident. But paradoxically, it often happens backwards.
Studies have shown that the clothes we wear dramatically affects our confidence, and even our intelligence.
Our internal narrative is easier to change when we make visible, outward changes first. There was nothing quite like the experience of looking at photos of myself exuding confidence, intelligence, warmth, in a way I don’t often feel.
The external photos changed the way I felt about my internal self.
I carry that with me now, even when I am lounging in pajamas. I remember that I’m still that person, regardless of the clothes I’m wearing.
But it didn’t start with inner work. It actually started with an external change.
Photos As Smart As You Are
My photoshoot with Lindsay Rae was completely eye-opening and life changing. And now you have the opportunity for your own Self Love Experience.
On January 6, 2023 she has opened just 8 slots for a 1-day retreat at her famous studio in Troy, NY entitled Photos As Smart As You Are.
It consists of three components:
- Personal branding workshop
- How to take the perfect selfie lesson
- 30-min brand photoshoot
It ordinarily costs a small fortune to work with Lindsay 1-1, but this group retreat is just $2500 per person.
Details:
- January 6, 2023
- Self Love Experience studio in Troy, NY
- Investment: $2500*
*Travel to Troy, NY and lodging are not included. Nearest airport is Albany, NY just 6 miles away.
Grab your seat here: https://selfloveexperience.com/workshops
But wait, there’s more!
I’m running my own retreat the very next day, also held at her studio.
It’s the Core Messaging Retreat, where you’ll learn the messaging system I teach experts and leaders all over the world to deliver TEDx talks, build their brand, and skyrocket their mission.
So if you’re a solopreneur or small business owner and you’ve tried everything to get your ideal customers’ attention…
- Trendy reels and memes
- Infinite scrolling sales pages
- Aggressive sales tactics
- Expensive copywriters
- Unreasonably priced web designers
But none of it works, or when it does, it burns you out…
You need to be there.
Attendees will walk away with:
- One-sentence Core Message to instantly explain what your idea is, who it’s for, and why it matters
- Story hook to qualify you or your brand as the mentor in your customer’s journey
- An argument to appeal to your customer’s rational brain
- 7-10 talking points that invite your customer into a consistent story
- Networking introduction for when you meet someone in the real world and need to quickly explain what you do or sell
Stop guessing about your messaging!
We’re offering a huge $500 discount for anyone who wants to spend the entire weekend with us and attend both retreats.
That’s a self-confidence workshop, a personal branding photoshoot with an internationally award-winning photographer, and a complete messaging masterclass, all for just $4000!
Visit https://CoreMessagingRetreat.com for more details and to secure your seat to mine, Lindsay’s, or both!
