Confidence vs Arrogance
Have you ever heard someone say, “I’m not arrogant; I’m just confident,” and thought to yourself,
“Um… no. You’re arrogant.”
Or perhaps you’ve had someone tell you that you’re arrogant and found yourself insisting, “No, I’m just confident.”
Arrogance, in ourselves and others, has a detrimental effect on our ability to make meaningful connections.
What’s going on here, and what can we do about it?
Many young people, particularly those who are talented, go through an arrogance phase. I know that I did. Most of my colleagues who are now doing amazing work did as well.
But the problem isn’t exclusive to young people.
If you’ve ever said to someone, “I’m not arrogant. I’m just confident” – you’re probably wrong. The mere fact that you’re defending yourself means that somebody else perceives your actions and attitude as arrogance.
You should listen to these people, because they are giving you a beautiful gift: self-awareness.
Where Does Confidence Come From?
Confidence is born out of experience. And to get experience, you’re going to be insecure.
You’re going to fail.
Arrogance is a defense against our own failings, but if you are aware of it you can instead accept insecurity and lack of experience with grace and humility.
Do that and you’ll learn more and gain experience faster, which in turn will actually bring confidence.
And you’ll discover that when you are truly confident, you don’t need to be arrogant.
In fact, it would weigh you down.
Practical Steps for this Week:
If someone in your life, whether they are a friend, family member, or colleague is acting arrogant and you can clearly see that it is born out of insecurity and inexperience, tell them so. They won’t love you for it, at least not right away. But when they hear it enough from different people, the message will sink in. They’ll thank you later.
If you yourself have been told off by friends, family, or colleagues for being/acting arrogant, listen to them. They’re right, and you’re wrong. Own up to it, apologize, and reflect on where the attitude is coming from.
Let it go.
