Connecting with People Who Don't Interest You
Last week I took the train from Connecticut into New York City to deliver a keynote on human connection to a group of event and meeting planners representing organizations across America.
They’ve been hit hard these past two years, as we all have in the live event space.
While it seems most of the world has moved on from the pandemic, so many people who used to support their families working behind-the-scenes in live events - tech, crew, catering - are still out of work.
But it’s starting to turn the corner, and you can really feel the excitement and energy that we can safely gather in-person again.
I was invited not just to speak on human connection IRL, but to remind the room why their work matters so much, and to inspire them to get back out there and make the most of our new event opportunities in a post-pandemic world.
It was a lovely evening, full of passion, laughter, and stories.
Following my keynote I received this question during the Q&A:
“What should we do if we’re talking to someone, like a client, who just isn’t that interesting, but we’re supposed to be super interested in?”
Great. Question.
And the answer is painfully simple:
Develop a practice of curiosity.
Curious Curiosity
Genuine curiosity is the key to staying present during conversations, asking meaningful follow-up questions, and making people feel truly seen, heard, valued, and understood.
But more to the point:
If you find yourself talking to someone you know you’re supposed to care about but there’s just nothing about what they’re saying you find interesting, get curious about something else:
Why is this thing I find so boring so interesting to them?
Asking yourself that question will immediately shift your focus off of yourself and allow your conversational partner’s values and beliefs to come into the spotlight.
You don’t have to be interested in everything everyone else is interested in. Life would be super boring if that were the case, ironically.
Instead, get interested in why they’re interested.
You’d be surprised how often the answer to that question leads to a common interest you’d have never discovered if you’d simply tuned them out and nodded along.
For more curiosity, I highly recommend the work of Cal Fussman, legendary journalist and world renowned interviewer.
I had the great pleasure of speaking with Cal on my podcast in 2020. Check out our episode below to discover the secret of the 50-foot-wave, and his favorite conversation starter with a stranger in any situation.
