How I Handled A Roomful Of Crushing Judgment
This was a mistake.
I'm standing backstage scanning the audience with the intensity of a serial killer.
Ordinarily I'd be over-the-moon at the opportunity to speak in front of such an energetic and welcoming audience.
But this is different.
I'm a corporate and college speaker, which means I fly in, shake lots of hands, crush the speech, shake some more hands, and take off.
It's a new audience every night and it's rare that I even recognize someone in the crowd, let alone know them well.
But tonight is different, because I'm at Speaker Slam in Toronto.
Speaker Slam is the largest inspirational speaking competition in North America, and over the last few years I've been on the judging panel many times. I've also given guest presentations in their speaker training classes.
Many members of their community have become members of my community, following me on social media, attending my speaker training workshops, and even becoming 1-1 clients.
They're all in this packed room, and I literally spent the last 2 hours judging the 10 competitors from tonight's competition... which is themed on human connection - the very topic I'm 'famous' for.
So as I scan the room, I have a terrible realization:
These people know me as an 'expert' speaker and speaking consultant... but they've never seen me speak.
I'm supposed to be the expert, but what if I suck?
Whatever they've heard about me, however good they think I am... their expectations are about to collide with reality.
Is it even possible to measure up whatever kind of a speaker they imagine me to be?
In that moment, I decide, it's not. So I'm not even going to try.
All I can do is deliver my presentation as if it were any other night. Dan gives me a King's introduction, the audience roars, and I take the stage.
I'd like to say it was a blur, but it wasn't - I remember every second I was up there.
In the words of my hero Steve Martin, "Enjoyment while performing is rare. It is an indulgent loss of focus you cannot afford."
And what I remember?
The audience was as warm and welcoming, as energetic and engaged, as I could have ever hoped for.
They weren't judging me, they were rooting for me.
When the night was over I was flooded by positive feedback from friends, clients, and colleagues who made the experience feel incredibly special.
My big takeaway: If you try to live up to other people's imagined version of you, you'll fail every time, and stress yourself into a puddle trying. All you can offer is the best version of you, and that will always be enough.
Thank you to Dan and Rina for inviting me and giving me the opportunity to showcase on your stage, in front of your beautiful community.
Let's do this again!
Watch the 10-min speech: "How to Change Your Life in One Interaction
