How To Connect With Someone When You Have No Time

“How long is this going to take?”

I’m in an all-purpose room on a college campus, having just wrapped up a presentation on how to magically connect with anyone to a group of leadership students.

As I sign books, a few students linger, eager to chat.

One student looks particularly anxious to ask a question. After a moment of hesitation, he gathers his courage and speaks up.

“I love what you said about connecting with people. But how long does this take? Most people don’t have a lot of time these days; everyone is always rushing back to their lives. How do you connect with people quickly?”

“That’s a great question,” I respond, seeing a perfect teaching moment. “Let’s try something. What’s your major?”

“Electrical engineering,” he replies.

“Very cool. I don’t know much about that. What do you love about electrical engineering?”

He pauses, then starts, “Well, I got into it because of my grandpa. He was an engineer and used to show me all these little gadgets he’d built in his workshop. I was fascinated by how he could solve practical problems just by tweaking a few wires and circuits.”

“That’s incredible, tell me more about that.”

His enthusiasm builds as he speaks faster, filled with passion. “When I was about twelve, he gave me this small kit for building a radio. It took me weeks, but when I finally got it working, it felt like I’d unlocked something amazing-“

As he speaks, I notice the other students tuning in, drawn by his story.

“-I guess that was the moment I knew this was what I wanted to do. It’s not just about the circuits, you know? It’s about creating something that means something to you and to others.”

I smile and let the silence settle in for a moment.

“Did you forget we were doing a demonstration?”

He grins, a lightbulb moment indeed.

“That’s how little time it takes to form a meaningful connection,” I tell the group. “Just a few minutes, a couple of genuine questions, and we moved from a superficial chat about a major to personal stories about childhood dreams and values.”

Human connection doesn’t have to be lengthy.

Every conversation holds the potential to touch a life, to inspire a dream, or to bolster someone’s confidence. Just a few minutes, or even 30 seconds, can bridge the gap between strangers and make someone’s day a little better.

And when in doubt, use my favorite go-to question: “What do you love about [topic]?” It virtually guarantees they will begin talking about their values and beliefs.

So next time you meet someone, remember it’s not about the length of the interaction, but the depth and quality of the connection you create.