How to meet your hero without screwing up

It’s 8am and I’ve already taken one flight today.

It was delayed over an hour because someone forgot to put the wing on, or whatever. Which means the relaxed 90 minute layover is now a race against the clock if I want to make it to tonight’s speaking engagement on the other side of the country.

Ordinarily I’d be looking at my phone, getting breakfast, or mindlessly checking out the shops. But instead I’m power walking, looking straight ahead, laser focused on the world right in front of me.

And that’s when I see him.

He’s walking towards me from across the terminal, and my sleep-deprived, scattered brain says, “You know, that short bald guy kind of looks like Seth Godin.”

He gets closer and it dawns on me… it IS Seth Godin.

Seth is the father of modern marketing, a 20-time New York Times bestselling author, one of the most prolific business bloggers and keynote speakers in the world, and my personal hero. I worship his work. To calm my nerves on the first flight of the day, I’d watched an entire 1-hour interview he’d given recently.

And here he is, right in front of me. But not for long – time is of the essence.

I want to meet him, but I don’t want to bother him. It’s an airport, after all, and in this context, he’s just another anxious traveler trying to get to his next flight. Plus, he’s with his wife. This is a family trip.

“Uh oh,” I think, “You’ve got seconds before he passes you and he’s gone forever.”

So I acted on instinct. I loudly exclaimed:

“SETH!!!”

It Couldn’t Hurt

We are regularly given advice to “just go for it.” Whether it’s asking for a promotion, inviting your dream guest on your podcast, or asking your hero to get a cup of coffee.

“Just ask,” they say. “It couldn’t hurt!”

To quote the man himself, Seth Godin, “actually, it could hurt.” Because your reputation is at stake, and you’ll never get a second chance to make that first impression.

Your boss might think it’s disrespectful or tone-deaf to ask for a promotion, since you’ve only been at the company for a few months and haven’t proven your worth yet.

That dream guest might think you’re being presumptuous, since you haven’t earned their trust or done any work to build a relationship.

Your hero might think a cup of coffee is hardly worth their time, just to give someone they’ve never heard of their hard-earned advice, for free.

Thanks to the Internet, the world is tiny, and reputations both spread and stick.

So, how DO you manage a meeting with your hero? Let’s turn to comedian and writer Stephen Merchant, describing the time he met David Bowie.

Missed Opportunity

This is the 3rd and final part of our 3-part blog series on a single episode of Conan O’Brien’s podcast, Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend.

Stephen Merchant is best known for co-writing The Office with Ricky Gervais. Here he’s talking about his follow-up show, Extras, and the time David Bowie came on as a guest star:

“Ricky and I actually have, in the music publishing world, a song co-written with David Bowie. We wrote these lyrics and then we sent them off to David Bowie, and then he came back on the day and he took us into a room with a piano, and he played us the tune. It was absolutely extraordinary.”

That sounds like a blast. But, wasn’t it stressful meeting David Bowie?

“When you meet someone like that, there’s a feeling that, I’ve got this one opportunity to fully absorb their genius, their majesty. And of course you can’t! Because you’re with them for a limited amount of time, and what can you possibly do to fully understand them? You can’t! So, oddly enough, I remember talking to David Bowie about reality TV, like Big Brother or some show that was on the night before. And I’m thinking, this is a missed opportunity here!”

There’s the rub: The one thing you’re looking for most isn’t available. You will not understand your hero’s genius, intellect, or secrets, in the span of a limited or chance encounter.

So, to Stephen’s question, what can you do?

Be present.

David Bowie is both a brand and a human being. When you meet him on stage, or on a record, or on screen, he’s a brand. But when you’re filming a guest spot on a TV series with him, hanging out between takes, he’s just a person.

And what people desire most is connection. Stephen feels that talking about some random reality television was a missed opportunity, but I bet David Bowie was thrilled. That’s a real conversation that real people have.

Connection doesn’t always require depth. It requires a shared experience, an understanding.

Which brings us back to Seth.

“Did you get a selfie?”

After awkwardly blurting out “SETH,” I immediately started kicking myself.

“Well, that’s it. I blew it.”

Seth stopped cold in the middle of a busy terminal. He searched for the voice and, when he found me, immediately turned on a big smile, walked straight up with his hand outstretched, and said, “What can I do for you, sir?”

I quickly jogged his memory of who I was from some brief email exchanges we’d had earlier in the year. The defining characteristic? We graduated from the same high school, albeit decades apart.

Our entire encounter lasted no more than 60 seconds. I told him how much his work meant to me, that Linchpin changed my life, and thanked him. Then I excused myself and wished him and his wife safe travels.

And that was it.

When I told the story to friends and family, everyone asked the same question: Did you get a selfie?

No. It didn’t even occur to me. Because a selfie would have said, “Proving that I met you is more important to me than the time we’re spending together.”

Like Stephen Merchant, I felt this incredible pressure to soak up all of Seth’s genius. Of course, you can’t.

When it comes to human beings, whoever they are and whatever they’ve accomplished, stay present. If you do that, you’ll never have a missed opportunity.

Previous Conan Installments

Read parts 1 and 2 of this 3-part series based on a single episode of Conan O’Brien’s podcast:

Part 1: The worst advice ever given and how to handle it

Part 2: The most direct way to improve your ability to connect