Responding to Dumb Requests

Deli Worker: “How can I help you?”

Woman in her 60s: “Yes, hello. I’d like some turkey sliced.”

Then, looking concerned, she added: “Not too thin. But also not too thick.”

The woman was asking for the default, standard, ordinary thickness. It would be easy for the deli worker to roll her eyes; it was a silly way to word the request.

But of course to the customer, the order was not standard. It was personal. It was her order.

We feel like our wants and needs are unique and precious, even though we usually just want the same thing everyone else does, and often done in the same way.

To my relief, the deli worker didn’t roll her eyes. She didn’t make a snide remark cloaked as a joke. Instead, she nodded deeply and said,

“How does this sound: I’ll do a slice, and you let me know if I’ve got it right? If not, we’ll try again.”

The woman was delighted.

Degrade or Delight?

In all interactions, both in life and in business, we get to choose how to engage. When someone asks you a question you’ve been asked a million times, or makes the same joke everyone else makes when they first meet you (“If you’re a magician, can you make the check disappear?”), you get a choice.

We can choose to sigh, roll your eyes, or make a cheap joke. It’s easy, and it’s tempting. I’ve done it. Or we can show up with empathy, compassion, and generosity like the deli worker, recognizing that even if the request, want, or need isn’t unique, the person is.

I try really hard to choose the second option, even when it takes more emotional energy. Actually, especially when it does.