Get out of my gym, already!
We’re nearing the end of the “new year, new me” phase.
The vast majority of people whose resolution involves exercising more will stop going to the gym by the second week of February. I have many friends obsessed with fitness, and the beginning of January is a particularly trying time, as their sacred gym gets flooded with newbies.
I’ve never been into fitness, but I can empathize with that frustration as a former full-time entertainer in the college campus market. Hear me out.
Each year the National Association for Campus Activities’ annual conference would get flooded by local magicians who had heard there was good money in campus entertainment. It drove the 10 or so full-time campus magicians crazy. A tight-knit community whose livelihoods depended on these conferences, we knew the newbies didn’t have what it takes to make it and would disappear from the market by next year’s conference. But in the meantime they drew precious attention away from us and watered down the experience for attendees.
So when my friend recently said, “I wish these “new year, new me” people would just get out of my gym, already. They’re not even going to be here in three weeks,” I felt that.
But perhaps there’s a better way.
The Power of Community
Why do people flock to the gym in January? Why do magicians come out of nowhere in droves during conference season?
Are they just messing around, or think it’s funny to annoy those of us who actually take it seriously?
Of course not.
They really, truly are trying to make a change in their life or career. We don’t fail resolutions or new projects because our intentions aren’t genuine, but because building new habits or a business is really, really hard. And one of the primary reasons it’s so hard is we often try it alone.
Simon Sinek – leadership expert, TED speaker, and author of The Infinite Game – put it like this:
“We’re good at disappointing ourselves, but we don’t like disappointing other people. I can wake up at 6:00 in the morning, all revved up to go to the gym by myself, and just change my mind. And I’ll just sit in bed ‘til noon. I’m really, really good at letting myself down, guilt free!”
-Cal Fussman’s podcast Big Questions
Having an accountability partner, a gym buddy, is one of the most effective techniques for sticking to goals and building new habits.
According to The American Society of Training and Development you are 65% likely to achieve your goal simply by making it public, but having a specific accountability partner makes it 95% likely you’ll make it happen.
While I’m skeptical of those exact numbers (very few things in life are 95% guaranteed) the trend is definitely right: We are significantly more likely to meet other people’s expectations than our own.
So, what’s that got to do with “new year, new me?”
Kindness is Infinite
It occurred to me years ago that my attitude toward the influx of local magicians during conference season was all wrong. Nobody was trying to water down the market. Those magicians were struggling to make ends meet and decided to step outside their comfort zone of local birthday parties, libraries, and backyard barbecues to try something completely new.
The risk was huge: it cost thousands of dollars to attend and have a booth at one of these conferences, not including the printing cost of marketing materials and the opportunity cost of their regular work for the entire weekend.
And without guidance they were going to fail, hard. We’d seen it happen over and over: the college market eats newcomers alive, emotionally and financially.
So one year I decided to be the guy that was helpful and welcoming to all the newbies. Not just the magicians, but anyone. I started introducing myself randomly when someone looked unsure of themselves,
“Hey there, I’m Brian. First time?”
“Oh, hey man. Yeah. It’s crazy.”
“It’s a bit overwhelming, right? Is there anything in particular you’re having trouble with?”
“Wow, um, actually yeah. What’s the best way to handle when students are walking past the booth? I can’t get anyone to stop, and…”
And so on. I’d give them my cell and tell them to reach out any time during the weekend, or stop by my booth in-between events for advice or questions. What I realized was something Simon Sinek now describes in The Infinite Game, that the goal of business isn’t to beat your competition; the goal of business is to stay in business. There are plenty of clients and opportunities for every entertainer to make a comfortable living, it’s not a zero-sum game where one gig for her means one less for me.
If you’re a regular gym-goer, consider being that person right now, this week, for the new folks before their resolution-tank runs empty. Introduce yourself, offer advice or assistance, and generally make yourself available. Sync up schedules or tell them to come on your days, if they’d like.
These are people trying to get in shape or improve their health. Health is an infinite game. When someone else gets healthier, you don’t get sicker. In fact, the more healthy people we have, the better off we all are.
Community and connection is the best gift you could give anyone in our divisive and distracted world. And if you do it now, before the second week of February, you might just change someone’s life forever.
